Hi!
Nothing new to say. Sad. Still broke. Depressed. School year has started and I have just realized how crazy it is working for this city. The demands on my time, both teaching and other wise is just nuts. Tired. I have had to fill out so much paper work and do so many other dumb tasks that takes away from my students. Frustrating. I am currently enrolled in 2 certification graduate courses (paid for by the city), 1 teacher seminar (complete useless waste of time, seriously if I did not have to do it to keep my job this lady would never ever see me again--- paid for by city) and 2 doctoral courses (75% paid for by city, on a year long payment plan- but will be covered completely by a bonus stipend from my principal both fall and spring). Extremely tired.
I started this blog with hopes of having both good and bad things to say about my debt reduction. Nothing good has been posted. Crying. I have not tackled debt the way I need to. I am tired of thinking about debt (it literally keeps me up at night) and I want to stop feeling like a mouse on a wheel. I work too hard for what feels like nothing. First paycheck gone anything exciting? Any free money? NO NO NO...
How do you all deal with these feelings? OR do you have them?
Monday, September 8, 2008
September Update
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11 Comments:
What is your goal here? Why are you taking Ed.D. courses if you just want to be a teacher? Or don't you want to be a teacher?
I wish I had some great advice to give but, I don't. The only thing I can say is, don't give up. Getting out of debt is not easy but will be so worth it. Keep your head up and keeping trying. It will get better.
You are definitlely doing a lot. Just keep your eyes on the prize. I;m glad to see that you found a way to take your doctoral classes.
Trust me, girl, you're not the only one who's been feeling the same way. At least you've had a job - imagine being in my boat, unemployed for the last month or so, and pretty soon going to be living out of my truck if I don't get this job tomorrow and manage to work something out with my landlord? Eh? Eh? So you're definitely doing better than some, even if it feels like you're going nowhere fast.
Cheer up! Things will get better :)
You sound like Debbie Downer LOL
You have a lot on your plate, and it's understandable that you're feeling the weight of it all.
When I feel that way, I deal with it in two ways. First is that I set small incremental goals that are easy to achieve. That helps me recognize that I'm making progress, even if it's going slowly. Second is that I try to create some mental space for myself by doing something pleasant that has nothing to do with the issues. Take a bath, go for a run, read a book, that sort of thing.
Also-- staying awake and thinking about problems never helps me. When I find myself doing that, I make a real effort to give my brain something else to do. For me, lying there and playing mental games helps, like trying to think of vegetables that start with each letter of the alphabet. It's dumb, but its very dumbness keeps me from getting mentally stressed. Which in turn lets me get to sleep.
Take heart and hang in there. It sounds like you're really working very hard towards your bigger goals-- it's just that it takes awhile to get there.
I know what it is like to be a trapped, imobilized, under your debt. Thing is you need to make a plan!
If you are going to stay awake thinking about it, make it productive. Come up with ways to make some extra dough. University is a great place to start. Do some marking for professors, type people's papers, try for some bursaries (which you are likely to get if that broke), sign up for research studies (try the psych department if you don't want to be subjected to experimental products), give plasma, tutor high school or new university students, get involved with a marketing company on campus (they love students to help market to other students). The opportunities are endless for you at this time.
Keep your chin up, try hard, break your debt pie into manageable chunks, and don't give up. You'll get there.
Hang in there! My husband and I are currently going deeper into debt because we are trying to get his business off the ground. Granted not the best time to do something like this... he launched in March and things were going pretty darn good until about a month ago. But enough about me, chin up and remember baby steps! Do something nice for yourself like have a nice cup of hot tea or take a warm bubble bath. You will find your way out of this. Here's a fun and inspiration blog, the very first blog I ever read: Crazy Aunt Purl. She's out of debt now, but got saddled with a bunch when her n'er do well husband up and left her to "find his creativity". That's when she started her blog. She's hilarious and she had a great post a few days ago about the state of the economy and how she got out of debt. Also when I'm feeling down I think of the people who are losing thousands in the stock market. OUCH. And pat yourself on the back for getting that loan reinstated with only days to spare!
hang in there! It is very frustrating to have to tackle debt but you have done the hardest part already: you have recognized that you have to do it and you have manage to keep your head above water. I am a teacher so I understand some of your stress. I am impressed how you have organized your certification and other courses to be fully or partially paid by your employer. Give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.
so you paid the 950?
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